It’s Bukowski of Burbank here, coming at you with our inaugural blog post, for this awesome site: HowToSurviveHomelessness.com.
While you may be confused as to why you would need to survive this, seeing as most of you probably have cushy jobs and an air-conditioned bed-room in your parents house, let me just remind you that some of us can’t (un)afford such luxuries.
But not to be a dick: let’s just get to the point.
The purpose of this website is to teach you little fucks how to survive being homelessness. So let me give you a key: Share a light, yo (TM).
You got it, just share. And while that may seem like a redundant for your so mature little fucks, just let this serve as a reminder that sharing is caring. Which for most, is the mantra of being homeless.
You may not believe this, but homeless people need stuff. Crazy, right? And as much as you don’t want to share, it’s pretty amazing how much you have that these people can need. Myself included.
But to bring this point home: let’s just explore what the life of the homeless is like.
That’s right, like clothes, and um, food maybe?
And yeah, they may have nice shoes on, as you judge them while drive in your Honda Civic and texting on your $800 iPhone 7, but just remember, they probably haven’t eaten in 8 hours.
So while you drive to a McDonald’s and order your latte to sip while you peruse Amazon.com at your local Starbucks, these assholes are out here trying to find a cardboard sign and marker just to get your ignorant asses to notice them.
Not that you care or something. God!
And while money is important to the homeless, let’s just get to a bigger point: sharing a light is also a great way to open up a conversation, or at least break the motherfuckin’ ice, so to speak. Which you all rich motherfuckers seem to ignore.
So while you walk down your New York Wallstreet Avenue with said McCafe Latte and newspaper in hand, trying to juggle that with a hotdog while trying not to get ketchup spilled on your shirt (which by the way is disgusting, you mustard hating assholes) just remember that these motherfuckers are trying to find some to comiserate with. Cause some of these little fucks are miserable as fuck.
But not to scare you away, they’re also intelligent, cultured, and probably a little sad, because they ain’t got nowhere to live. Which kinda makes them lonely and shit. Not that I would know. I live in LA. Fuck this town and these fucking spics.
But ahem, not to get too racist, ’cause I assure you the point of this website is to denegrate the homeless, but rather lift them out, just remember, the key to survival is to share a conversation and find love in a trashcan, and maybe just let someones else vent for a while you assholes ignore us and spill ketchup on your motherfuckin’ shirts. Which kinda sucks.
So talks to us assholes.
And while we’re at it, “Can I borrow a light?”
–Bukowski of Burbank